The Wire Lawyer

(male announcer)today on judge jessie, judge jessie turns up the heat. you signed a piece of paper. he gave you the snake. then you bring a snake into the homewith two small chihuahuas. i had not been made aware that the snakewould get rid of its skin, and then the sprinklerscame down with the snakeskin,

ruined my carpet. (jessie)what–what set offthe sprinklers? unrelated popcorn fire,your honor. (announcer)judge jessie. as a police officer,he defended the streets. as a trial lawyer… objection! (announcer)he fought for the truth. as a black belt…

[grunting] (announcer)he mastered discipline. as a carpenter, he learned the valueof craftsmanship. as a surgeon,he mastered a cool head. as a crack ho, he learned to go dayswithout sleep. and as an announcer, he does the voice-overon this show.

coming up on judge jessie… mr. simmons, before you speak,i know from experience that the police have completelymishandled your case, and there is legal precedentfor you to win, and any good defense attorneywould have told you that. i also know that obviously theplace where you hurt your back wasn’t structurallyup to code, mr. oyama. and furthermore,as a sensei, you should know a manof his skill set

cannot do a mike yaki. you should know that. obviously, i can tellby looking at your alignment that you’ve herniated a discsomeplace in your l4 or your l5. i’m finding for the plaintiffnot $2,500, $2,700, mr. oyama. thank you, your honor. you’re quite welcome. dusty, can i suck your dick?

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